Dear Liberal Friends…

Not counting today, we’ve got 10 days left until the election. I just wanted to write a quick blurb to all my liberal friends out there, and all the other people who have been engaging me in discussion about John Kerry.

Please shut the fuck up.

He’s got a big chin/he flip-flops/he speaks French so I don’t trust him

Let me ask you something, real simple-like. Are you going to vote for the alternative instead? Will you be voting for Bush, and all the bullshit he represents? Or Nader, who if he had something to say would have been saying it over the past 4 years? If the answer is “no” then do me a favor and keep the debate about whether or not Kerry is perfect to yourself. Of course he’s not fucking perfect. In a perfect world, I would be president ( or you, I’m sure ), but the left constantly has to second-guess the people it tries to put into power.

I understand this. The left doesn’t want to look like the ravening lunatics on the right who would support Hitler if he promised to cut their taxes. But the time for that is past. Shut up and goddamn get behind someone who has at least some of the ideals you profess.

I just don’t believe Kerry is a good “wartime” president

It’s been 3 years since the attacks on the WTC. Do you feel safer? Do the constantly shifting threat levels help you sleep at night? Do you believe that the war in Iraq is justified, that 50 terrorists are springing out of the earth every time a civilian is killed? That the support of the rest of the goddamn world is just a trifle, and we don’t need anyone else?

Personally, I’d rather vote for someone who has actually, I don’t know, BEEN IN A WAR, rather than scratching his balls while real people are out dying. The Swift Boat bullshit, Dan Rather with his blown story – it’s all irrelevant. Keep your eye on the prize. Kerry was there. Bush wasn’t. The. Fucking. End.

He’ll raise my taxes!

I’ve heard this one from friends and family alike. Let me help you out real quick. Anyone out there members of Halliburton? The Saudi Royal family? The Carlyle Group? If the answer is “no”, then Bush is going to give you the shaft.

I get a real chuckle out of this one when I get white middle-class men telling me over cigars how Bush is fiscally responsible, etc. What a fucking crock. Who the fuck do you think is funding this war, you asshole? It sure as HELL isn’t Ken Lay; it’s middle-class schmucks like you and me. Bush is going to come after your children’s education, your young men and women in a draft ( mark my words on that one ), your health care, and your social security. And you’re going to thank him for it. But hey – tax breaks on SUVs, right man?

I’m not political

Bad news, dog. Here you are, living in a time of chaos in the United States of America. You already ARE political.

So, please – get your ass to the polls on Nov. 2. It’ll only take you 2 minutes, unless you’re in a swing state and you’re black, in which case you’d better get in line now. Feel free to e-mail me if you like, but be warned – if you attempt to engage me in some sort of debate about this, I’m just going to throw your message away. It’s very simple and very black and white – you’re either voting for Bush, or you’re not. Feel free to take your justification, turn it sideways, and cram it up your ass.

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