Awwww Shit!

Fiber to the premises ( FTTP ), ladies and gentlemen. 30mbps of goddamn pure speed, straight to your door, $35/month. Fuck yeah.

I’m gonna have so much fiber I’ll be pooping for a YEAR, you sons of bitches. You hear me? I’ll have more fiber than a goddamn cereal factory. I’m going be surfing the net over here in the future, while your cable modems and DSL lines clunk along like a sad, pathetic 52k modems. Maybe, every now and then, you can come over my house and just bask in the glow of all that speed, but rest assured that that bandwidth is mine and mine alone. You will not be able to have any, and you will go back home all weepy-eyed because I have something you don’t have. I have a chunk of the future, and you are nothing more than a Luddite plebe with nothing. Nothing, you hear me?!

I wonder if they offer it in my area…

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