Viva l’Italia!

Someone’s going to Italy. I’m betting it’s not you.

Instead, I’m going to bet it’s me, and that I’m going to have fun, and this is going to be the week that your dog dies and you get fired from your job and your significant other dumps you. And while that happens, think of me, sipping Grappa, smoking a cigar, watching the people in the Piazza san Marco. Just by going to Italy, I’m going to grow exponentially more rich and better looking while I’m there, and I’ll be moving away from my life in the NY/NJ area like a comet streaking away from the sun to a larger, more gravitationally fun star in the outer reaches of space. By Monday, you’ll all just be grey shadows to me, ethereal mists flitting at the corner of my eye. By Weds., you’ll be naught but a distant memory.

But I’ll miss you until then! I’ll try to update while I’m away.

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