Stand in the sun and melt in the wind

I’m nursing quite a hangover today – let me just say that right off. Like a trooper, however, I made it into work to reap my reward of…I’m not quite sure what the reward is. Maybe it’s money or something.

I’ve had some difficulty adjusting to getting back to “reality” over here, as no doubt my last post will tell you. Something about the pace of being back in the USA is crushing me, but I can’t put my finger on what the exact nature of the pressure is. Maybe the work that piled up from being gone for only one week is depressing me. Maybe its the meetings that all seem to run in circular directions, nothing resolved. I feel an emptiness in my gut that no amount of food will ever fill.

I’m carrying secrets around with me, as well. I’m hoping to be able to talk about them soon; for now, I’ve had to content myself with writing little letters about the secrets to myself, then erasing the text files. If you didn’t already know, I’m absolutely horrible at keeping secrets. I love talking to people about so many different things, and a secret burns in me, dying to get out like some kind of beast in a cage. Admittedly, I’m better at it then HurricaneMasta, who sometimes forgets what is supposed to be a secret and what isn’t, but I’m sure he’s not tormented by secrets the way I am. In time, I always end up bursting. If you want to manipulate me, tell me your secrets; I’ll be sure to divulge them at some point.

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