Take note

I’m going to be changing my email address soon. I get about 100 messages a day, and at least 90 of them are spam. The straw that broke the camel’s back? This piece of fucking CHRISTIAN spam I got today. When the Lord’s chosen start spamming me, it’s time to move on:

GOD needs to be in your life,

If you are not saved do it now do not put it off another day.

This prayer can save you

“Oh God, save my soul.I’m so sorry that I have sinned against you, but I have come home.I will serve you, Lord, the rest of my life. Deliver me from all my sinful habits.Set me free! I do believe Jesus died on Calvary for me,and I believe in His blood,that there is power in His blood to wash away all my sins,all my sins!” “Come into my heart, Jesus; come on in, Jesus.Come on in!”

If you meant it,He has come.If you meant it, Jesus is yours.Start reading your Bible,pray daily and believe that somebody’s listening; His name is Jesus

Make plans while you still can contact a local church or prayer hotline.

Dear Jesus, please force your followers to stop spamming me, either by giving them rectal cancer or, when they’re on the highway next, have a tractor trailer driven by a coked up trucker on the 79th hour of a cross-country route flip over the divider and land in front of your follower, pinning them inside their car, and the trucker’s cigarette lights the ripped gas line on the bottom of their cab which slowly leaks fiery liquid death into the passenger’s seat, and all they can do is scream. Or break their computers. Amen.

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