Just Sign Here

God, I haven’t updated in a week. I suck. I feel like nothing particularly fascinating has been going on – the purchasing of the house (or The House as it will henceforth be known) has consumed all of my mental apparatus. Cardell gave me a bunch of advice about house buying, and I’ve been reading his letter while lying in the fetal position under my bed, weeping.

Last night we filled out the mortgage application, and by “we” I mean Anastasia. I drank wine and watched old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Anastasia would give me things to sign and initial – endless things, I think I got a hand cramp at one point – but I just kept getting drunker and drunker and signed more and more documents until I think I signed over a post-nuptial agreement of some sort. The application was sent out by Fed-Ex today and I feel like going to Fed Ex Central and intercepting my package like a ninja (think Oni, but male, fat, and no purple hair).

I was feeling a bit under the weather, but we visited the House yesterday and I felt a little better. It’s such a nice piece of property, and I think we could be really happy there, especially after I build Steffie World in the barn (I’m planning on a basketball court, a climbing wall, video games; in short, Heaven made flesh). Korzak is going to live on the south forty and drive a go-cart in to pay us a visit. It will be a quiet little commune of Happiness, and all it will cost is my soul.

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