I had dinner with a friend a couple of days ago, and it went something like this.
Friend: I’m glad we attacked Iraq; someone had to do it! It was the right thing to do.
Me: [staring blankly, then going on long diatribe about history, politics, etc.]
Friend: Whatever, dude. Your problem is that you read too much.
You know what? You’re right. I surrender. Fuck this noise. Israel vs. Palestine? I hope enough of them kill each other until the entire country is awash in blood and you have to backstroke into the Holy City to touch the Wailing Wall. I hope the US continues to butcher indiscriminately and without conscience. I hope that we become so infatuated with the culture of fear that defines our nation that we’re too terrified to even leave our homes until Coca Cola tells us it’s OK. I hope that the wealthy continue to trod on the poor, that we continue to oppress those who are different than us, and that we make more guns than books. From now on, I’m not a Democrat or a Libertarian or anything – the only side I’m on is the side of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse, and I plan on cheering from my window and singing “God Bless America” when they come galloping down the street.
Tonight I’m going to order cable, eat me a fucking Big Mac, drink my Bud, smoke a Marlboro, lock my doors, shout some racial epithets, and wait for Fox News or whatever other station to do my thinking for me. God willing, I’ll be reintegrated into society by next November so I can vote Bush back in and continue leading an empty, brutish life until I die from the thin fingers of paranoia and fear that will grip my heart and crush it in an icy embrace. It’ll be a welcome relief.