Cry Havoc

Unless you’ve been under some sort of rock lately, you know that Earth and Mars are closer together than they have been since 57,537 B.C. or will be again until August 29th, 2287.

Like poking a giant anthill made completely of Stupid, this makes the crazies come out.

OK, where are peoples’ fucking brains, for God’s sake? It’s going to be 35 million miles away. That’s 2.2 trillion feet, or approximately 73.9 billion trips from your couch to your fridge so you can have another big heaping glass of retard. Do you have any concept of how mind-blowingly far that is? Do people honestly believe that the Universe is precariously balanced on the head of a pin and that any gravitational event will throw us all into the Chaotic abyss? I was reading that people are afraid that the gravitational pull of Mars will throw Earth’s tidal system all out of wack. Let me counter this with an example. We know the moon has a great effect on the tidal events on Earth – let’s assign this Moon Effect the number 1. If that were true, the Sun’s effect on our world would rank .45 (that’s point 45). Mars weighs in at .000001 or roughly a billion times your IQ, you goddamn idiots.

Anyway, for you more sane types, here’s where you can see this awe inspiring event:

* Rutgers University, New Brunswick NJ (Thursday (8/28) 8:30pm to 2:30 am)
* WestConn, Danbury CT (Wednesday (8/27) 9pm to midnight)
* Central Conn/Copernican Observatory, New Britain CT (10pm-1am, 8/25-8/30. Call 860-832-2938 for details)
* Rose Center For Earth and Space, Manhattan NY (you might need to give them a call. Expect lots of amateur astronomers with their telescopes on different street corners, of couse)
* Rifle Camp Park Observatory, West Paterson NJ (8:30pm – 11:00pm, Friday (8/29)).

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