Stephen J. Gould Forever

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”
John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

That’s OK, Creationists. Better luck next time.

I just want to take a moment to send a message to any Creationists out there:


You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

I am personally offended that you feel that the marvel of the universe can only exist because “God made it so.” I had a Creationist tell me that she couldn’t believe in evolution because “whales exist” and she couldn’t imagine such a wonderful, glorious thing happening “just by chance.”

Bullshit – I think it’s even more amazing that it all happens by random chance. I think that evolution is a strong argument for the existance of some sort of God. We have a system of infinite chaos from which creatures great and small push up from the muck of randomness to be the best adapted and most glorious of their species. Why are we insulted that we descended from monkeys? Why can we not believe that somewhere down the line (in AFRICA, no less), there was a proto-human that first stood on its hind legs, grabbed a tool, and evolved into something different?

I think Creationists have no sense of humor, personally. The fact that a difference of .6% (that’s POINT 6 percent) DNA is the difference between a race of deity-worshipping bipeds and a race of creatures we habitually inject with cancers and poisons and cosmetics to see what affect they have. How hilarious is that? If God isn’t laughing up his sleeve at us right now, heaven must be a boring place.

So, to quote my man MC Hawkings, genius among men – Fuck the Creationists

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