Monthly Archives: May 2003

stupid math.

Jim McGuire brought up two interesting points: 1) People have to be over 18 to vote in the election, and it might have been a bunch of 12 year olds voting repeatedly for the same person. 2) Some people were … Continue reading

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5 reasons I’m drinking before 9am today

1. More people tried to vote for American fucking Idol than in the presidential election 2. The Texans are shredding public-access documents. 3. Fat-assed J-Lo is remaking Flashdance 4. No one is willing to forgive the Dixie Chicks for not … Continue reading

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Stephen J. Gould Forever

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” That’s OK, Creationists. Better luck next time. I just … Continue reading

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It’s not a club.

This weekend was our first meeting of the Writing Salon. That’s right, you sons-of-bitches; I’m the member of a goddamn salon. Your pathetic little lives mean nothing to me, you hear me? Nothing! And if you call it a club, … Continue reading

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A Letter From Korzak

n.b. When crazy people email you, it’s best to do as they say Hi, my name is Stefan and today I made a sock puppet! His name is Captain Wiggles, and I love him. I love him more than anyone … Continue reading

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That’s Goddamn IT!!!

You’ve got to be fucking KIDDING ME!!! I’ve just been sitting here staring at my fucking hands for five minutes straight, wondering if reality just twisted like a Moebius strip and maybe I was turned into a panda or something. … Continue reading

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All right, already!

OK, so I’m going to nip this in the bud right quick. I’ve been getting questionable haiku (haikus?) from persons who are expressing a certain anger at my not having posted in awhile. I kind of went through a time … Continue reading

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The Winner Is…

Korzak won the movie contest. He was one of a whopping two contestents. Thanks a lot, you assholes. I hope you’re happy. So, just to show you, Korzak is going to win one of the much coveted Dick snowmen. I … Continue reading

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Use The Goddamn Force.

You need to check this out on Korzak’s site. It’s a young nerd flailing around wildly in front of a camera, Luke Skywalker style. I laughed, but at the same time I wondered idly to myself if that’s what I … Continue reading

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Works Every Time

I’m on a quest to find the Colt 45 commerical with Billie Dee Williams, and he’s totally pimping down this street and there’s all these dogs barking – all like “Woof!” and shit – and he’s just strolling, not batting … Continue reading

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